Thursday, May 24, 2007

Celebrity Virginity Showdown:Who lost it FIRST?

The “first time” is hardly ever the best time, but it is always a milestone. Often, this information is a closely guarded secret shared between select friends, lovers, and that creepy bartender who won’t leave you alone, but here we talk about celebrities, and we know the slutty lives of the rich and famous are hardly kept a secret.

Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie Picture
Angelina Jolie tops our list of the getting started the earliest. The exotic sex machine allegedly lost her virginity at the young age of 14. She proceeded to cut her boyfriend with a knife after getting screwed. “Your turn to bleed b*tch.” Okay, maybe she didn’t say that, but it’s fitting.

Kate Moss

Kate Moss water

Kate Moss, the supermodel, allegedly lost it also at the age of 14, on a family holiday vacation in the Bahamas. Her family was sitting back loungin, while Kate was off getting a poundin’.

Jaime Pressly

Jaime Pressly

Jaime Pressly, “The Southern Sizzler”, is another hottie that lost her cherry at 14 to a 16 year old boyfriend in her hometown of Kinston, North Carolina. According to the Kinston official website, “Kinston offers fun for all ages with a variety of recreation and cultural activities,” yet, 14 year olds are still obviously looking for dick.

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton was 15 and allegedly lost it to Randy Spelling, Tori’s brother, at a hotel in Palm Springs, and she’s been fuckin ever since. Several sex videos, one alleged Valtrex prescription, and now we have the blogosphere’s most famous slut. Any questions?

Sienna Miller

Sienna Miller

Sienna Miller was 16 when she was deflowered by her first serious boyfriend. She was actually encouraged by her mother to do it inside the house if she was going to do it at all. Obviously, sex in the house, is a lot safer than sex in the city.

Marcia Cross

Macia Cross

Marcia Cross of “Desperate Housewives” was also allegedly 18 for her first romp. Dot the”i’s,” cross the”t’s,” add a little desperation, and Marcia was probably on her knees.

Britney Spears

Britney Spears

Britney Spears supposedly lost her treasured virginity to Justin Timberlake at the ripe old age of 18. And now, in a moment of silence, lets wonder why she decided to wife Federline, instead of hitting Justin one more time.

Shanna Moakler

Shanna Moakler

Shanna Moakler, former Miss USA (1995) and actress, was 18 and lost it in her dad’s office. He is a dentist. Suffice to say, teeth weren’t the only things getting drilled in that office.

Brooke Shields

Brooke Shields

Brooke Shields, once America’s most celebrated virgin, succumbed to the charms of fellow classmate Dean Cain when both were attending Princeton University. She was 20. And now, she is 42, and nobody cares.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey

Tina Fey, the “30 Rock” star, held out until she was 24. The lucky guy was her future husband. How upstanding and respectable, but with her loss, she was no longer a collectible.

Elvira

evlira

Finally, Elvira, aka Cassandra Peterson, had singer Tom Jones as her very first lover. Supposedly, he was so well endowed that she needed stitches after all was said and done! But she says she still enjoyed it. Vampires like blood.