115 Simpsons Openings in One Video

This kid really, really loves his dog

Vintage champagne and minders - the amazing life of the £250,000 conman aged 13

A 13-year-old boy who lives with his grandmother has been exposed as one of Britain's biggest Internet conmen.

The boy earned more than £250,000 by posing as the boss of several multinational companies selling vacuum cleaners, stationery and office supplies.

Many of the goods were never dispatched, but the fraudster used the cash to revel in a luxurious lifestyle way beyond his years: he wore designer suits, drank vintage champagne and travelled only by chauffeur-driven limousine.

He even employed a personal bodyguard, flew abroad on business trips and claimed he was going to buy a private jet.

The astonishing case echoes the film Catch Me If You Can (itself based on a true story) in which Leonardo DiCaprio plays a teenage con artist who makes millions posing as an airline pilot, doctor and lawyer.

And just as in the film, the boy - who cannot be named for legal reasons - became criminally obsessed with appearing wealthy and successful.

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Leonardo DiCaprio as conman Frank William Abagnale in Catch Me If You Can

A source close to the police investigation said: "Despite coming from a relatively humble background, he became an outrageous snob. He claimed public transport was 'for commoners'.

"He would not eat sandwiches unless the crusts were cut off. And once he started making money he refused to attend school unless the local council paid for him to go to a private school.

"He is a total bully and an extremely arrogant young man."

This week, Balham Youth Court in South London heard that the boy - now 16 - embarked on a three-year fraud spree after his mother died of cancer.

He received a £16,000 inheritance, some of which he spent on crime books that detailed the methods of successful conmen.

Then, working from his bedroom at his grandmother's house in Chiswick, West London, he set up a website which purported to sell plasma screen televisions at vastly discounted prices.

Despite not supplying the goods, the money started to roll in and he gave up going to school in order to expand the "business".

He eventually set up a stationery and office supply firm, a dating website and a modelling agency.

The teenage conman quickly outgrew his grandmother's bedroom and moved into a succession of offices - including one in Mayfair, one of the most exclusive areas of Central London.

However, he would never stay longer than two or three months and would always move out without paying the rent. He also took on staff, employing dozens of people after placing advertisements in a Jobcentre. Unsurprisingly, many are still waiting to be paid.

Trading Standards and the police were inundated with complaints and the boy was initially arrested in October 2004.

But he was given bail and went on to reoffend - a pattern that repeated itself four times over the following two years.

A police source said: "It was like he was addicted to conning people. And whenever he was confronted with what he did, he showed absolutely no remorse. He even appeared to enjoy the police and court attention."

On Tuesday the court heard that between 2004 and 2006 the boy racked up unpaid bills of more than £19,000 at three luxury cab firms.

He also made bulk purchases on credit from expensive stores and took so-called "business trips" to Paris and Edinburgh.

On one occasion he even claimed he wanted to buy an aeroplane and walked around a private jet salesroom, afterwards revealing that he loved the way the staff 'sucked up' to him.

He also spent his money hiring women from escort agencies, taking horse-riding lessons and going drinking in exclusive London clubs.

Yesterday a police source revealed that despite the boy's intelligence, his lack of a formal education was exposed in emails he sent to one of his victims, which were littered with simple spelling and grammatical errors.

A police source claimed he could be very convincing nonetheless.

He said: "He is 6ft tall and looks a lot older than he is. He was able to rent the business addresses by putting down a deposit and then simply disappearing when the rents were due.

"When finding staff he would use different Jobcentres, so that he was never blacklisted."

In court on Tuesday, he admitted 16 charges of fraud totalling £50,000 but a further 105 charges, worth £135,000, were taken into consideration. The court was told that the boy's latest project is an online lingerie store, which his solicitor insisted was a genuine business.

Despite this, the boy was warned he could face a custodial sentence when he returns to court later this month.

Yesterday, one of the teenage conman's former employees revealed how he owes her almost £4,000 in backpay.

Claire Young, 26, from Mortlake in South-West London, was until yesterday working as the teenager's personal assistant.

She said: "He used to take me to a polo club and expensive bars in the City. He would take his friends along, too, saying he would pay for everything. I just thought he was a very generous boss.

"I feel like a fool because all the time he was just conning me. My boyfriend even bought two printers from his website but they never arrived.

"But he always managed to convince me when I asked for my money. There was always an excuse like: 'I couldn't get to the bank. It was shut'."

Following his conviction, his victims are now likely to club together to bring a civil court case in order to recover their money.

Although it is not known how much money he has, the teenager is thought to be named as the sole beneficiary of his grandmother's £900,000 house.

Last night three of the fraudster's websites remained up and running, but he told the Daily Mail that many of his customers had received their goods, boasting: "I have many very happy customers."

Asked whether he would repay those who weren't so pleased, he said: "That's up to the courts."

However, he did admit that considering buying a private jet was "a bit silly - I was only 13 at the time".

This Is Hardcore: 10 Fleshy Album Covers

When it comes to cover art, there are a lot of things to consider. To succeed, an album cover must match the themes, emotions and atmospheres of the music to a stunning visual that encapsulates the album.

Sometimes artists go for subtlety and nuance, other times, they let it all hang out ... and I do mean all of it. But, as the soft-spoken members of Three 6 Mafia once said, "ass and titties."

Here's a list of 10 album covers that rely more on flesh than audio-visual consistency, but be warned it gets pretty raunchy (read: penis, vagina etc ...).

10. The Pixies - Surfer Rosa

9. The Strokes - It This It (UK version)

8. Basement Jaxx - Remedy

7. Grace Jones - Island Life

6. John Lennon & Yoko Ono - Two Virgins

5. Sugar Ray - Lemonade and Brownies

4. Pulp - This Is Hardcore

3. Xiu Xiu - A Promise

2. Blind Faith - Blind Faith

1. Liars - It Fit When I Was A Kid

Not that there's any reason you'd ever, ever, ever want to see, but here's the uncensored version.

Top 20 Celebrity Drug Confessions

Angelina Jolie:

I hate heroin because I’ve been fascinated by it. I’m not immune, but I won’t do it now, at all.

Brad Pitt:

If someone wants to do drugs…as long as he or she isn’t corrupting minors or driving under the influence or endangering others, shouldn’t a person have that right?

Colin Farrell:

I ended up on a shrink’s couch, and he told me to write down how much I did in a week: 20 E’s, 4 grams of coke, six of speed, half an ounce of hash, three bottles of Jack Daniel’s, 12 bottles of red wine, 60 pints.

Drew Barrymore:

My mind seemed to have a huge neon sign in it that blinked nonstop: COKE. GET COKE. So I did. It was great for dieting, partying and picking up my mood.

George Clooney:

I’ve slept with too many women, done too many drugs and been to too many parties. I loved acid when I was at college. It was an escape. I liked mushrooms. They were like easy acid. I did like blow…Blow would dress you up for a party, but never take you there. You’re always like. This is going to be great! Then you’re just depressed.

Fergie Ferguson:

The drug was the hardest boyfriend I ever had to break up with. I dug deep as to why I got there.

Nicole Richie:

I was like a trash can - I took everything.

Halle Berry:

People in this business use cocaine and crack, but I never wanted to put that in my body. Why would I? I tried pot when I was 18 or 19. But it just made me scared to leave the house.

Anthony Kiedis:

I grew up with drugs, but it wasn’t until recently, that I grew out of them.

Davina McCall:

You name it, I took it. Cocaine, ecstasy, even heroin – although I never injected... I had a job so I looked like I was holding everything together. But then the cracks started to show.

Bill Hicks:

See I think drugs have done some good things for us, I really do, and if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cds and burn ‘em. ’cause you know the musicians who made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years.... rrrrrrrrreal f**kin high on drugs.

Joel Madden:

Without cigarettes, I would be doing heroin, probably, on a daily basis.

Madonna:

I only tried Vicodin once. Drugs have a weird effect on me. They do the opposite with me. I just chewed the entire inside of my mouth. I bitched at everybody. And I was in more pain. It was the worst experience of my life. So I’m happy to say that none of my pharmaceuticals — and I had a plethora of them given to me — influenced me.

Pete Doherty:

I’ always stumble back on it sooner or later, even if it’s for half an hour a day. There was no shame, because I kind of knew they were just lonely p***ed-up old queens. And £20 was a lot of money!

Naomi Campbell:

I was at a concert in a European country and I was offered cocaine. It made me feel invincible. Like I could conquer the world. I was just completely over-confident, but it’s all a misconception because when you wake up the next day it’s all gone and you feel awful. And the more you take drugs, the more you want. And that’s how you become an addict.

Kate Moss:

I take full responsibility for my actions. I also accept that there are various personal issues that I need to address and have started taking the difficult, yet necessary, steps to resolve them.

George Michael:

Cannabis keeps me sane and happy. I’d say it’s a great drug - but obviously it’s not very healthy. You can’t afford to smoke it if you’ve got anything to do.

Keith Richards:

The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared.

Whitney Houston:

My business is sex, drugs, rock and roll. You know? My friends, we have a good time. But as you get older and you get wiser - you stop a lot of the kid stuff. Trust me. I partied my tail off. You get to a point where... the party’s over.

Sienna Miller:

I still love the odd hallucinogenic drug. If I had a drug of choice, it would be magic mushrooms.

How to know if she is faking orgasm?

I’d be willing to bet that you’ve been at least curious as to whether she was for real or not. She screams, she moans, she thrashes, she pulls your hair and yells “I’m cumming!” She’s so loud that the neighbors are close to calling the cops. But still, you have your doubts. Truth is, if you find yourself wondering, she’s probably faking it. But before you jump to conclusions, make sure you ask yourself a few follow up questions like “Am I giving her a reason to fake it?” or “Would you even know a real female orgasm if you saw one?” I’m going to do my best to educate you on the subject.

Its easy to understand your confusion. In contrast, the mechanics of the male orgasm are pretty easy to “get”: Dick gets hard > Dick gets stroked/sucked/fucked > Dick cums. There’s no real mystery there. Don’t you wish girls were that simple? Sorry to tell you boys, but we’re just not made that way. Our sexual organs and arousal process are way more internal. So unless she’s a squirter, a woman has no giant-red-flag-indicator that she’s having an orgasm. However, there are signs you can look for that will let you know she’s getting ready to cum, is cumming, or she’s already been there and back.

First is arousal, if she’s really turned on, her pupils may be dilated, her skin may be flushed red or pink on her face, neck and tits. Her breathing may be rapid and may become irregular. In general, her moaning and panting will not just get louder, but speed up as she approaches climax. She won’t be able to control it.

Next, the actual orgasm. Adding to the confusion here is that women can have both small “mini orgasms” and the awesome-earth-shaking, toe curling orgasms. While technically they both count as O’s, your girl may or may not count the small ones. In either case though, a woman’s PC muscles will contract. This means that if you’re inside her, you’ll feel it start to “squeeze” slowly while she’s cumming. It may be quick, or it could even be minute-long dick-gripping contractions. Some women go completely stiff when they cum, some go totally limp. Some yell louder than ever, some are totally quiet. No matter what her heart rate will increase. And if you’re a real stud, she may have some involuntary movements, such as shivering.

Finally, afterwards. She’ll have a dazed, dreamy look and be kind of glassy eyed. She’ll need to catch her breath and her breathing and heart rate will slowly return to normal. Her flustered red skin will gradually return to normal.

As a bonus tip, here are some tell-tale signs that she is faking.

1.) If she’s coming EVERY time. Only a very small percentage of girls can cum everytime. Also, each and every real orgasm is different. If your girl has the exact same reaction to every orgasm, it may just be for show.

2.) Obvious Overacting. This one can be a tough call, since some women will moan and talk dirty to turn you on and to turn themselves on, but if she’s just moaning mechanically, her groaning is too regular, or too loud, and she sounds like she’s totally imitating a porn star, she’s probably faking and she probably sucks at it.

3.) Out Of Synch. If her moaning and responses don’t match what you’re really doing to her, something’s wrong. For example, if you stop, and she keeps moaning with the same rhythm and intensity, she may be faking.

4.) No Downtime. There are exceptions, but if usually if she “cums” and then immediatly jumps out of bed to brush her teeth, she probably faked. It should take her at least a couple of minutes or so to calm down after having an orgasm.

In the end, you may never know for sure that she was faking it or why, unless she breaks down and confesses, or throws it in your face in the midst of an argument. But if you suspect she is pulling an act in bed, use it as a challenge and an opportunity to experiment. Switch up your sexual moves and see if you can give her a genuine toe-curler.

102 Weird Facts You Never Knew About Dogs

1. It is a myth that dogs are color blind. They can actually see in color, just not as vividly as humans. It is akin to our vision at dusk.
2. Dogs DO have better low-light vision than humans because of a special light-reflecting layer behind their retinas
3. A German Shepherd guide dog led her blind companion the entire 2100 mile Applachian Trail
4. If never spayed or neutered, a female dog, her mate, and their puppies could product over 66,000 dogs in 6 years!
5. Dogs' only sweat glands are between their paw pads
6. Like human babies, Chihuahuas are born with a soft spot in their skull which closes with age
7. The breed Lundehune has 6 toes and can close its ears
8. Teddy Roosevelt's dog, Pete, ripped a French ambassador's pants off at the White House
9. President Lyndon Johnson had two beagles named Him and Her
10. Franklin Roosevelt spent $15,000 for a destroyer to pick up his Scottie in the Aleutian Islands
11. In Roman times, mastiffs donned light armor and were sent after mounted knights
12. The Russians trained dogs during WWII to run suicide missions with mines strapped to their backs
13. A dog's mouth exerts 150-200 pounds of pressure per square inch
14. ... with some dogs exerting up to 450 pounds per squre inch.
15. A one year old dog is as mature, physically, as a 15 year old human
16. The U.S. has the highest dog population in the world
17. France has the 2nd highest
18. The average city dog lives 3 years longer than a country dog
19. 87% of dog owners say their dog curls up beside them or at their feet while they watch T.V.
20. Dogs can be trained to detect epileptic seizures
21. 15 people die in the U.S. every year from dog bites
22. In 2002 alone, more people in the U.S. were killed by dogs than by sharks in the past 100 years
23. Gidget is the name of the Taco Bell dog
24. Newfoundlands are great swimmers because of their webbed feet
25. Basset Hounds cannot swim
26. Greyhounds are the fastest dogs on earth, with speeds of up to 45 miles per hour
27. Bingo is the name of the dog on the side of the Cracker Jack box
28. The bible mentions dogs 14 times
29. Three dogs survived the sinking of the Titanic - a Newfoundland, a Pomeranian, and a Pekingese
30. The Labrador Retriever is the #1 favorite breed in the U.S., Canada, and the U.K.
31. Obesity is the #1 health problem among dogs
32. An estimated 1,000,000 dogs in the U.S. have been named as the primary beneficiaries in their owner's will
33. An American Animal Hospital Assoc. poll found that 33% of dog owners admit to talking to their dogs on the phone and leaving answering machine messages for them while away
34. Dog's nose prints are as unique as a human's finger prints and can be used to accurately identify them
35. At the end of the Beatles' song "A Day in the Life", a high-pitched dog whistle was recorded by Paul McCartney for his sheepdog
36. 70% of people sign their pet's name on greeting and holiday cards
37. 58% put pets in family and holiday portraits
38. There are only 350 Cisky Terriers in the world - perhaps the rarest breed
39. The phrase "raining cats and dogs" originated in 17th century England when it is believed that many cats and dogs drowned during heavy periods of rain.
40. Dogs have no sense of "time"
41. Humans have kept dogs as pets for over 12,000 years
42. The largest breed of dog is the Irish Wolfhound
43. The world's smallest dog breed is the Chihuahua
44. The St. Bernard is the heaviest
45. Only dogs and humans have prostates
46. But dogs do not have an appendix
47. Every dog on earth likely descended from a species knows as the Tomarctus - a creature that roamed the earth over 15 million years ago
48. The oldest known breed is likely the Saluki - originally trained by Egyptians to help them track game.
49. In 1957, Laika became the first living being in space via an earth satellite
50. ... while JFK's terrir, Charlie, father 4 puppies with Laika's daughter
51. An African wolf dog known as the basenji is the only dog in the world that cannot bark
52. There are 703 breeds of purebred dogs
53. Dachshunds were originally bred for fighting badgers
54. The world's smartest dogs are thought to be (1) the border collie, (2) the poodle, and (3) the golden retriever
55. ... while the dumbest dog is believed to be the Afghan hound
56. A dog's smell is more than 100,000 times stronger than that of a human's
57. ... which they need because their eyesight is not as keen as a human's.
58. Dogs judge objects first by their movement, then by their brightness, and lastly by their shape
59. Chocolate contains a substance known as theobromine (similar to caffeine) which can kill dogs or at the very least make them violently ill
60. George Washington had thirty six dogs - all foxhounds - with one named Sweetlips
61. All dogs are identical in anatomy - 321 bones and 42 permanent teeth
62. Smaller breeds mature faster than larger breeds
63. Female dogs are only ready to mate - "in heat" - twice a year for a total of roughly 20 days
64. Puppies sleep ninety percent of the day for their first few weeks
65. Rin Tin Tin was the first Hollywood dog star
66. ... and he really signed his movie contracts - all 22 of them - with a pawprint
67. The Wizard of Oz's Toto was played by a female Cairn Terrier named Terry
68. Up until the late 1800's, Collies were known as Scottish Sheepdogs
69. Dogs have two times as many muscles to move their ears as people
70. The longer a dog's nose, the more effective it's internal cooling system
71. An elderly woman was saved by her 12 pound Yorkshire Terrier who fought off an 80 pound Akita and survived with only 9 stitches
72. U.S. Customs dogs "Rocky" and "Barco" were so good at patrolling the border that Mexican drug lords put a $300,000 bounty on their heads
73. Dogs are all direct descendants of wolves
74. Wolves and dogs can mate to produce fertal offspring
75. Female wolves have been known to travel great distances to regurgitate full meals for their hungry pups
76. Cerberus was the tri-headed dog that guarded the underworld in Greek mythology
77. Female dogs bear their young for 60 days before they're born
78. Dogs' sense of hearing is more than ten times more acute than a human's
79. Humans can detect sounds at 20,000 times per second, while dogs can sense frequencies of 30,000 times per second.
80. The earliest dog fossil dates back to nearly 10,000 B.C.
81. Bloodhounds are prized their ability to single out and identify a number of scents simultaneously
82. Dalmatian puppies are born completely white.
83. The Ancient Chinese carried Pekingese puppies in the sleeves of their robes
84. Boxers are so named because of their manner of playing with their front paws
85. All breeds of dog have been found to attack livestock - from 3 month old puppies, all the way up to thirteen year old poodles
86. A dog's heart beats up to 120 times per minute, or 50% faster than the average human heartbeat of 80 times per minute
87. The oldest dog on record - a Queensland "Heeler" named Bluey - was 29 years, 5 months old
88. Davy Crockett had a dog named Sport
89. Dogs were first domesticated by cavemen
90. Dogs live 15 years on average
91. Many foot disorders inn dogs are simply an issue of long toenails
92. More than 5,000,000 puppies are born in the U.S. every year
93. More than 1 in 3 American families own a dog
94. Average body temperature for a dog is 101.2 degrees
95. The Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts both offer merit badges in dog care
96. Dogs are natural pack animals
97. They are naturally submissive to any creature with higher pack status - human or canine
98. Dogs instinctively require the pack leader's approval
99. Dogs with little human contact in the first three months typically don't make good pets
100. The Chihuahua was named after the state in Mexico where they were discovered
101. After birth, puppies' eyes do not fully open until they're about 12 days old
102. Their vision is not fully developed until after the 1st month